Parents who are really good at handling tantrums do 5 things—their kids become more emotionally intelligent, says psychologist
"These kids become more emotionally intelligent, which helps them weather setbacks, embrace independence and try new things," says Juli Fraga.
TL;DR
- Children express emotions through actions like tantrums and defiance, which serve as clues to their underlying feelings.
- Parents should remain calm during their child's outbursts, as emotions are contagious, and parental calm helps children regulate their own feelings.
- Adopt a 'detective' mindset to understand the root cause of misbehavior, rather than acting like a 'CEO' and imposing solutions.
- Help children identify and name their emotions to process them effectively and reduce the need for 'defenses' like lying or anger redirection.
- Reflect on personal coping mechanisms for emotions, as children often imitate parental behavior.
- Consider unresolved stress, using the 'H.A.L.T.' (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) acronym to identify and address basic needs that might be contributing to dysregulation.